Education Week

Education week is over!!!! Finally. Now the schedule is only going to get weirder until fall finally starts. 

I move in MONDAY! I'm pretty excited. They've already started redoing the whole thing. I have a new refrigerator, dishwasher, and soon to be light above the sink. I think they are getting me new carpet too. I'm pretty excited about my roommates too. It's going to be hard though; I can tell. I saw one of my old roommates with her new roommates and that was kind of hard in and of itself. I think I'm finally going to have to realize that they are my OLD roommates. And that my life is totally different and so is theirs. And honestly, I need to figure out a life that doesn't involve them. I figured that out yesterday, and for the second time this summer... I cried. Silly huh? For heaven's sake. I. am. so. emotional. Puhlease! I am not a good adapter. I've gone my entire life with a best friend or friends, and for the next three years I'm going to have to do this college thing like everyone else is, and just enjoy having a ton of friends that won't really mean anything after I graduate. Great. I'm so excited. Man, emo much?

So Deena called me a social bug today. Ha ha. I was like, "No seriously, you don't understand. I am NOT a social bug... anywhere else." Well at the Bookstore she's right. I'm a social bug. Weird. I talk to everyone. Oh and today I had a new experience. I was getting off my break and happened to be walking through General Book (not clocked in, or wearing my apron or name tag) and some lady was like, "Do you work here?" I said, "Um... yeah actually." Wow. I've officially got it printed on my forehead. Unfortunately I didn't work in General Book, so I could only point her in the direction of the information desk, but still... sad.

Deena was funny today. Since it was Education Week this week, we've been stressed like none other. Her especially. Well The Bookstore has been open until 10, and I'm the closing person. Hooray. Well it was like 9:45 and Deena said, "We need to say something mean to Phil." So she said something about the downstairs cooler breaking, and I said, "Wait when did that happen?" And she said, "It didn't." So I looked at her and said, "Oh we're going to lie." So I started looking around the Twilight Zone, searching for things that could have gone wrong today. I came up with the microwave exploding. We changed it to someone putting a hotdog in it with the foil still on to make it more believable. We even added some true ones like: hair in the german chocolate fudge, and the donut guys spilling the donuts, and running out of fruit. We also said that Julia fell down the stairs, someone knocked over the apple barrels and spilled water everywhere, the freezer door got left open and the top icecream melted, the registers crashed (which did happen Tuesday), Carol broke the nut machine (which did happen Wednesday), well... anyhow, you get the point. So we told Phil all of this saying, "Aren't you glad you weren't here, and aren't we glad it's over. lol. It was fun. Everyone was really loopy this week. Even Deena apparently. It was awesome, but I'm glad I don't have to work 2-10 or 1-10 anymore. My whole body hurts. 

So that was my life this week. Oh and I talked to Tikla on... Wednesday. Technically. I finally worked up some courage and conquered my fear. I so totally rock and you know it!

So THAT was my life this week. I'm glad it's over, but I'm glad it happened too. Now on to preparing for fall. Puh. So NOT looking forward to that scenario. Well, til the next time I write! Tchuss!

Summer

You know... this summer has been amazing... and nothing like I predicted it would be. I thought I would be at home bored half out of my mind, especially after Monie and Hannah left. But no... I took action, and I left too. I think that was the best decision I've made in a long time. 

This has been one of the best summer's of my life. And honestly all I did was work and read. No joke, that pretty much just sums it up. But I've changed a lot this summer. Outside and in. I have more confidence now. I truly understand that I'm a likable person and that just because one person... or two don't get along with me, that doesn't make me unlovable. It just means that I'm unlovable to them. And honestly, I don't need to be loved by everyone. 

You know what helped the most. A couple things really. The first was the BYU Bookstore. A blessing in disguise if you ask me. I was nervous at first. I knew I would be giving things up if I worked at the bookstore, but I did it anyway. I remember last year the one place outside my apartment where I could be myself was the MTC. I didn't think I could ever work in a place that was as much fun. Boy was I wrong. The Bookstore is a thousand times better. And I'm making real friendships where at the MTC I mostly made acquaintances. Not that I don't love them, I just wasn't as close. I've worked at the Bookstore for three months and I still look forward to it. I can't wait until fall when we start getting busier and more crazy. 

Also, I don't feel like a burden anymore. Granted I don't vent as much as I used to which probably helps ;D My life is so amazing right now... for no good reason. I'm just deciding that it's good right now. And it is. There's no drama, no instability. That's the one thing I don't like. Not knowing who will stay and who will go. Being afraid of making myself to vulnerable without meaning to. But it's ok. I'm guarding my heart and giving exactly how much is needed for the situation. There's a phrase that I heard once that is so true that I need to remember:

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will, so don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future. 

I figured out that I have people come into my life for all sorts of reasons. Some were meant to stay, some were meant to stay momentarily to change me into the person I was meant to become, and I think some were meant to distract me... to make me think that I am not supposed to be anything. That is not true. God has a plan for me just as much as he does for anyone else. 

Another thing I figured out this summer is no one is better than me. Different... of course. But not better. We were all given the trials we can handle, the gifts to help us become great, minds to help us figure it all out in our own way, and hearts to help us love each other for our differences. We are all different. My visiting teachers helped me with that. Last year I was the odd duck out for most of Freshman year. Mostly because I wasn't bubbly and happy and excited about EVERYTHING all the time. I was mellow and sad and happy and zoned out and goofy and obnoxious at times. But that just made me different not worse. My visiting teachers this last summer were like me. I love them to death! We would be talking about guys and people in general and Vanessa told me that, yeah, a lot of guys are attracted to the happy, bubbly, excited girl. But not all of them. Some prefer quiet, sensitive, emotionally well rounded girls. And that goes for a lot of people. So I just have to find the people who love me for me. Which is apparently not that difficult. ;D

Other people who helped me figure this out were Dani and Kathryn. They helped me figure out that even though we don't live together that doesn't mean they are kicking me out of their lives. We'll always be good friends even if we don't see each other for a while. And you know, I think the summer helped me with that too. I probably won't see my old roommates very much anymore, but that's ok. I've created a new less spastic life for myself. One that fits me rather than finding a life that can fit all of them in it too. Because they don't think of people the same way I do. Individuals are very important to me. People are important to them. It's not better or worse... it's just different. And I can see that I only need people in my life who need me in theirs. And those who need me in their lives will keep me there. I won't have to do everything. And now I think I'm at a point where either way it won't matter to me. Because I know I'll be happy either way. So I will let whoever else decide what makes them happy. 

I love my life. Everything is working out for the best right now, and I am no longer blind to it. It's an amazing feeling... to see first hand what God does in our lives. I love Him so much and I know He loves me too. He wants me to be the best I can, and He will do everything in his power to help that happen. Sometimes it'll hurt and sometimes it'll be amazing but either way it's for the best! So bring it on! 

Like I said this was the best summer of my life!

Awesome Story

I heard this story at Youth Conference a few years ago and I loved it. Well today I finally remembered it and was able to find it on the internet. YAY!

At a certain college, there was a professor with a reputation for 
being tough on Christians. At the first class every semester, he 
asked if anyone was a Christian, whereupon he proceeded to degrade
any poor soul that timidly answered "Yes," mocking his/her statement
of faith. 
One semester, he asked the question and a young freshman raised his 
hand. The professor asked, "Did God make everything, young man?" 
He replied, "Yes sir, he did!" 
The professor responded, "If God made everything, then he made evil." 
The student didn't have a response and the professor was happy to 
have once again proved the Christian faith to be a myth. 
Then another student raised his hand and asked, "May I ask you 
something, sir?" 
"Yes, you may," responded the professor. 
The young man stood up and said "Sir, is there such a thing as cold?" 
"Of course there is, what kind of question is that? Haven't you ever 
been cold?" 
However, to the professor's surprise, this young chap 
replied, "Actually, sir, cold doesn't exist. What we consider to be 
cold, is really an absence of heat. Absolute zero is when there is 
absolutely no heat, but cold does not really exist. We have only 
created that term to describe how we feel when heat is not there." 
Then the young fellow continued, "Sir, is there such a thing as 
dark?" 
Once again, the professor responded "Of course there is." 
And once again, the young man replied "Actually, sir, darkness does 
not exist. Darkness is really only the absence of light. Darkness is 
only a term man developed to describe what happens when there is no 
light present." 
The final question posed by our young friend went like this, "Sir, 
is there such thing as evil?" 
The professor responded, "Of course. We have rapes, and murders and 
violence everywhere in the world; those things are evil." 
The student replied, "Actually, sir, evil does not exist. Evil is 
simply the absence of good. Evil is a term man developed to describe 
the absence of good. God did not create evil. It isn't like truth, or love, 
which exist as virtues like heat or light. Evil is simply the state where good 
is not present, like cold without heat or darkness without light." 
The professor had nothing to say.

;D