God Bless America

I'm not saying this because you will listen.

I'm saying this because no one else has.

I'm "the poor". My mom is "the poor". It brings tears to my eyes that no one fights for my mother. No one who even knows her thinks of her before they bash "the poor". This is my mother:

I wake up at 12am 7 days a week to do a paper route and then get home at about 5 or 6am. Sleep until about 10 until I go clean houses for anyone who will let me.

I'm the one who drives you to seminary, and picks you up and drives you to school.

I'm the one you called at 7am to come pick you up from your friends house, and I did, even though you were just a friend of my daughters and she was off at college.

I'm the one who does anything anyone asks of her.

I'm the one you call "lazy".

I'm the one you say has been "abusing" the things given me.

I've worked hard not to need welfare, but after my husband died I needed a little assistance.

I'm the one whose daughter, without the government, couldn't attend college, wouldn't have glasses, couldn't have a rescue inhaler for her asthma, would've lived in a house where the roof caved in, you could stick a pencil through the wall, and the outside was made of asbestos.

She is someone who has the purest heart, and the best intentions. She the kind of woman that if she had a million dollars, she'd gladly hand it to you if you needed it.

I'm fighting for my mom. I'm going to fight for those like my mom. Who don't deserve to be harassed because a new government health care bill was passed. My mom did nothing to deserve that. She's gone almost her whole life without good insurance. I for one wish that I had a million dollars, so I could give it to my mom. Maybe someday I can make it up to her. Maybe someday I can take her away from being "the poor" so that people who don't like taxes won't blame her for their problems. I'm tired of the only stories being told are abuse stories because if the poor are abusing their gifts then they don't deserve them, and if they don't deserve them, then I shouldn't have to pay. Be honest. Aren't you really only looking for a reason to say "I shouldn't have to pay."

Please don't send me anything telling me why government health care is evil. Why Obama is evil. Because out of everyone I hear, he isn't the one who sounds evil. I've received email upon email about how the poor abuse welfare. None of them even thought twice about who they sent it to. My mom is too kind to be upset. Someday... maybe I'll learn from her.

I don't agree with Obama, and I don't disagree with Obama.

I'm not a Republican.

I'm not a Democrat.

I'm a person.

God Bless my Mom.

God Bless America. I know we don't deserve it, but some of us still have a little faith. We need you. Please... bless us.

Missing Missouri

Missing Missouri by Sara Evans

I heard this song in the Twilight Zone while I was at work, and Deena looked at me funny when I was really excited.

So yeah... life is hectic, it seems like I can't even think about the next week because it would overload my brain. haha.

Michael and I are doing well. Yesterday was my birthday and this weekend Michael pulled out his "World-class husband" skills. He took me out to eat, got me my wedding band, and a beautiful painting of Christ with children... on Saturday. Then on Sunday, he made me food, started to plan a party but I was sick so we decided against it, and basically just pampered me the entire day. It was nice.

So yeah... updates this time are:

I forgot to get a new license so mine is expired... whoops.

I have a couple tests this week. :P

I'm 21. :D

Michael is wonderful. That's not really different though... just thought I'd add it in.

This semester is almost half over!!!!

And Lessons Learned:

Only get sick on your birthday if you can find someone to hang around you and pamper enough to cover being sick and it being your birthday.

Indexing actually CAN be fun! ;D

Well... I guess it's been a while since I've blogged about anything, and since my body has decided it is awake at almost 4 in the morning then I guess I might as well right? haha

So let's see. I've officially been married now for three weeks! Hard to believe it's almost been a month, but I guess so. haha. It's been a little hard getting adjusted, but I'm loving every bit of it. Michael has been amazing as usual and helping me out a lot. Well here's a compiled list of everything that has been happening that I think I missed:

Michael had some BYU issues, but now has been admitted as a night student, so that worked out nicely. We have every night class he has but one together, and I'm pretty happy about that. ;D

My apartment is basically moved in. Still slightly messy, so pictures will be a while. haha. Maybe with this three-day weekend I can clean and get some pictures up.

And yes, I know, I still don't have wedding pictures up. Eventually I will call my aunt and give her my address so I can get those. But I have to remember at a decent hour... which has yet to happen. haha

School is good. I'm taking Psych 302 (Research, Design and Analysis) which has been really fun. So far we've poked each other with this random stick instrument to collect data, and tested to see where our blind spot is. I think that class is going to be fun. I'm also taking D&C and Pearl of Great Price. Actually, my Pearl of Great Price teacher is taught by my very first BOM teacher, Alan Parrish, so I think I'll like that class. I'm also taking MUSIC 101... oh yeah. I added Music as my minor... finally. I think that'll be fun. I've done a lot of it already. I'm also taking Child Development and LDS Perspectives and Psychology. That class will be cool. I love Dr. Gantt. I didn't realize it until the first class though, but he was the speaker in Psych 101 that inspired me more than any other teacher. He told us that in college the professors don't teach correct principles necessarily. They teach all of the arguments, so that when we enter the world, we can have a voice and our own opinion to argue in the field of psychology. I think LDS perspectives is the absolute best class I could take from him, and I'm really excited.

Anyhow... I guess that's it. Things are finally settling down now that the receptions are over, and nothing needs to be planned. Well, I'm slightly tired enough to maybe go back to sleep. We'll see. Good night!

Miracle of the Moment

Miracle Of The Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman

It's time for letting go

All of our "if onlies"
Cause we don't have a time machine

And even if we did
Would we really want to use it
Would we really want to go change everything

Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

There's only One who knows
What's really out there waiting
And all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He's out there waiting
To Him the future's history

And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears
Then taste them as they fall
Let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go
Let it go, yeah
You gotta let it go

And listen to your heartbeat

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now (here and now)
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle
Of the moment

Slowing Down

So I was reading through some of my past blogs, and other things on my blog. I've changed a lot since even a few months ago. I think some of it is good, but I think I'm also changing somethings I shouldn't or at least don't need to.

I think between work and wedding plans I'm getting a little burnt out. I used to look at things so happily, and now I'm having difficulty focusing on the good in anything, but I think in a weird way, the reason this is becoming hard for me is because I'm not taking any time to just relax. And I think the wear and tear is just making me tired, and according to Dr. South, when you don't get enough rest it's difficult to be happy. So here's a list of things that I could potentially do (I say potentially because knowing myself, I'll turn it into some kind of assignment and add it to the list of things that I'm not doing):

Read... and read a book I LIKE. Not a book someone recommended me, or even a church book, or even scriptures. Read whatever I want to read. Even if it's something that everyone else thinks is lame.

Go for walks... maybe even take some bread to the duck pond and feed the ducks.

Sleep... weird concept. Why do people sleep again?

Watch a movie... curl up with my blankets and stuffed animals on the couch and watch whatever movie I want to watch. Maybe combine this one with the one right above it.

Write... as bad as I am at writing, it is very stress relieving. Even if it's just writing in my journal.

So now that I have a list of relaxing things to do. I also thought of other things that have been bringing me down slightly. No one is at fault, but I'm pressuring myself to "keep up" with others spiritually, and honestly, that's never a good thing. I progressed a ton more when I just decided to do things, and I didn't do them because I wanted to be "good enough" for someone else. And instead of letting my goals stress me out, maybe I should allow myself more time to do them. Maybe even ask others to help me by reminding me of them. Because mostly I'm just forgetful. Maybe I could try a little harder to remember them by putting notes up where I will see them.

I think most of all I need to stop and just breathe. I keep myself too busy. I don't have the time or energy to get anything done. My room is a mess and cleaning checks are Saturday. I need to do laundry and help out with the apartment chores, but because I run run run all day I never want to do anything else. So... I need to SLOW DOWN. Getting things done efficiently is good, but being happy about life is more important to me. Anyway... I guess I'm done ranting about stuff. Now that I've done my writing, I'm going to go sleep. Good night!

Wedding Plans

So... I'm getting married! haha. I think it's sad that I haven't updated my blog in forever! So here's the plan.

August 13th is my endowment in the Salt Lake City Utah Temple.
August 14th is my and Michael's sealing in the Draper Utah Temple. The Utah reception is that night probably at 7pm.
August 29th is the Missouri reception at 3pm.

I'm super excited. These are the official plans and unless something burns down it should be set in stone. We've been changing the dates and times a lot so it's been kind of confusing. So this is the plan... I'm sorry for whoever wishes they could be there and can't. I tried to make it as convenient as possible for as many people as possible. I'm really excited to see everyone in Missouri. It's going to be fun. I miss you guys. :D

So here are some of the smaller plans:

My amazing roommate Natasha is making my dress for me! I'm so excited! We already went and picked out the fabric and I've told her exactly what I like and she's going to do it. She's an amazing seamstress too. I've seen her make several dresses and they've all been beautiful! I can't wait.

My aunt and uncle just took our engagement pictures yesterday and they were awesome! Haha. I should be getting them back in the next couple days.

I've already made up the announcement. I really actually like it too. I was kind of surprised. But all I need to do now is add the pictures that I'll be getting and we're good to go.

I'm completely fuzzy on any reception plans, so we'll see how that goes. haha

Michael and I are hoping we can get a place in Wymount Terrace. It's close to the MTC, Provo Temple and campus, so it'd be perfect. I really hope it works out.

Still doing all the little formalities that need to be done as well. Everything is going relatively smoothly. I just can't wait until we are finally married. It's kind of a weird thought for me. Knowing that in little over a month I'll be married. I'm only 16 right? I refuse to grow up. haha. Oh well... it's worth it.

Such is Life...

So I don't really have that much updating to do just yet. I'm working full time at the Bookstore now that school is over. I'm planning to come visit Missouri the beginning of August, and I'm extremely excited. I miss home! :D There are no words to describe how well things are going with Michael. <3 Life is basically bliss. I get to do a little relaxing every now and then, shirk a few responsibilities (well, as much as I, being Nikki, can), and hang out with friends guilt-free (NO HOMEWORK!!!!) haha. My grades were pretty good, and my GPA went up a little. I only absolutely bombed one final. Silly Stats. But I'm over it now. haha... and now I long for a nap. So that's what I'm going to do. Night! haha