It's like having scabs pulled off to heal your scars.
It's like having someone break your heart to heal it.
It's like sinning to be able to repent.
It's like holding your breathe, so you can remember how to breathe.
It doesn't seem like it will ever work. It doesn't seem like it could work. It feels like it's wrong, but at the same time you know it isn't. It makes no sense while making all the sense in the world. It's like emptying something to fill it, fill it with something better, something more important. It's like trying to break me, so that I can be put back together again, but better. It's like a puzzle that was put together by a four-year-old probably has a lot of pieces that are just shoved together, and someone who knows how puzzles work along with someone who knows what the picture looks like come and take the puzzle apart so that it can be put together properly.
I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I'm being ripped apart. I'm more confused than I ever have been. I'm scared of people for the first time ever. I'm questioning everything about myself, and honestly, I know that whether or not something changes, I needed to. I don't like this feeling, but when you put a cast on a broken arm sometimes it itches. That's uncomfortable for the moment, but afterward your arm is fixed.
And now I just hope that I am trusting the right person.
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